The Ring
by theSharinganPhaze
Summary: NO..not as in the horror movie with the freak girl with black hair.I mean as in the Akatsuki ring.And Deidara gets himself in a sticky situation he just can't seem to get it off!..Please read its funny:p
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I came up with this when this same incident happen with me :p but of course less exaggerated…or maybe not?.. Anyway, the setting is pre-Shippuden**

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><p>"Deidara-senpai, what's the matter?" asked Tobi in his very irritating, high pitch voice.<p>

"Nothing!..baka! go away!" Deidara was pissed. He really did not want to deal with Tobi's bizzare immaturity right now.

"But senpai, you don't have to try so hard, I can help you!"

"NO!" Deidara sighed in frustration.

"Uhh...I need to get outta here for while. I'll be backs..un" And as he said that Deidara took off with his massive bird sculpture and away from the Akatsuki's current hideout.

He flew to where ever he wanted to land nearby, which happen to be his home village but nobody would notice because he would literally be hidden within the rocks outside the actual village.

"No one must no of the problem I have at hand". He looked at his hands. "Literally".

_It would be way to embarrassing for all the Akatsuki members to see me like this. _

_I cant even handle one simple problem like this but its stuck on my dam finger!'_

Deidara tried to pull off the ring on his right index finger.

_This stupid ring that I have to wear for this stupid organization that I cant get it off my stupid finger and it wont come off!_

He continued to try pull the thing off his hand for the past half hour. But the ring was stuck on the bottom of his finger and it was the bone in the middle of his finger that was blocking the ring from coming off.

"Huh, you no what…Art can solve anything."

He muttered to himself as he started to form the hand signs. Then using his Shōkuchō , the mouth on his right hand blurted out one of his explosive clays. This time it was a miniature spider about the size of his finger and then it crawled on his said finger.

"All right, my Beautiful Creation, you will not explode this time." He said while talking spider. "This time your purpose will save my life!…Now…melt away!"

The spider thingy melted into raw clay around his finger.

"Yes!" Deidara yelled and mentally excited. He tried pulling off the ring again with the clay around. And…it still wasn't working. "What the?…why isn't it working!" He grumbled still trying to take the ring off.

_This clay is suppose to be the most slippery substance ever!. I used to use this trick to play pranks on the adults in the village when I was kid. They all slip, trip, and fell and it was frikin' hilarious! _

"Why isn't it working now!" He yelled even louder in frustration.

"That's it! I don't care if I lose one of my fingers anymore! Anything to get this frikin ring off me!"

He quickly formed another miniature spider. Then right when he was about to yell "katsu!" someone came out of nowhere and knocked him to the ground. The mini spider made a…mini bang! In the air where he was standing.

"What the?.." As Deidara slowly got up and squinted around.

"No! Senpai! You mustn't resort to this!" That irritating kid again with the one eye and orange mask. He was sobbing with his face on his arm.

"Suicide is not the answer! Your too young to die, you've got a whole life ahead of you…we..I..wanted to be with you when I get to join Akatsuki! Whatever I did…whatever the akatsuki did…it couldn't have been so bad that you wanted to kill yourself! Your too strong to die! We need you to track down jinchuriki next year! Please don't go!", He continued to sob and tried to hug Deidara but he moved passed him in time.

"What the hell Tobi! What are you doing here? I told you, I'd be back!"

"But you were attempting a suicide bombing, I had to save u!" He still sobbed.

"Shut up!…how could you think I would do something so irrational? Why the hell would I want to kill myself now?", Deidara said to Tobi, then he had another idea. He rubbed off the clay from his finger as he smirked. He got up and left to go on his bird sculpture and flew off…leaving Tobi behind.

"Deidara-senpai! What about me!" Deidara heard him yell as he flew away.

"Huhh…I guess I wouldn't mind asking one person for something."

Deidara said as he flew back to the hideout. He went inside to search the members rooms.

**Hidan.**

No

**Zetsu.**

No

**Deidara**

_I'm right here but my room's right there.'_

**Kisame**

No

**Sasori**

Ohh…come to think of it.

"Hey Sasori my man, I just realized something." He told him as he just opened his door without knocking. _Everyone should no by now when someone will enter_

"What…you finally agree that art should last forever." Sasori said as he was fixing the strings of his scorpion-like puppet, Hiruko.

"No, of coarse not. I just wanted to say as fellow artists…._Art will always be a challenge worth dying for." _Deidara stated as he closed his door and walked away from Sasori's room.

_Now back to…who was I looking for again?...ohh.._

**Kakuzu**

No

**Itachi**

Definitely not.

**Tobi**

_He's not even a member yet and he has his own room?.'_

**Orochimaru**

_What the fly? Haven't we only been here a couple months. Why does he have a room?'_

**Leader-sama **

No!

_Dam what the hell? Why does she have the last room?'_

And Deidara entered the room without knocking. Maybe it would have been proper etiquette to knock before entering a _girl's _room. But this is Deidara.

"Hey..umm..Konan.." But Deidara noticed she was fast asleep, turned opposite side so all u could see is her blue hair.

_Dam you think by now you couldn't be so vulnerable. She couldn't even sense me coming enough to wake up.'_

Then Deidara took this to his advantage and searched her room. He noticed that her room was the biggest. _Dam spoiled from Leader-sama'_

He began to search on top of the bureaus as quietly as possible, and couldn't find it. He saw her collection of origami ranging from mostly types of flowers but also some animals and human figures. They were all in a great variety of colors. _Huhh...her sense of style in art is pretty impressive but not as good as mine.'_

The rest of her things were just typical girl stuff like mirrors, hair brush and jewelry. _That's weird, I thought it would be a typical girl item.' _

And he really didn't want to search _in_ her drawer. Although he was a bit mischievous to do just that.

So he slid the top shelf _very _slow and quietly and…he found what he was looking for right away.

_Yes!' _He grabbed the item and slid it back slowly again and tiptoed across the room….

"Wow, Deidara, you did all that searching and snuck into my room just so you could grab _hand lotion _out of my drawer." Konan stated in a monotone voice, still lying in her same position and it didn't sound like she was asleep at all. She new way before hand that he was coming and wanted to no what for.

Deidara tensed and froze where he stood. "Uhh…well you see…"

"Huhh…its bad enough you already look like a girl, but did you really think I was so vulnerable to sleep thru all this?" She stated, still not facing him.

_Well yeah I actually did think that and…wait what?'_

"What?…you think I look like a girl?"

"Well, yeah" Then she got up and faced him, "..maybe if u cut your hair into a decent boyish style u might actually be considered handsome."

"Huhh…why thank you my _laay de", _He flirted back with a smirk but then realized the first part of that comment.

"Hey, I don't need no hair cut to make me good-looking as I already am…and what about you? I don't see you growing your hair out to "actually be considered pretty."

Konan gave him the big inhale _huhh_ with her mouth hanging open.

"Ahh..how dare you say that! Gimme back my lotion!" Konan got off from her bed.

"Sorry my _laay de_, but I need this for my newest art creation." He said to her as he walked out of the room and shut her door before she came to him. Leaving without saying thank you of course.

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><p><strong>Lol this turned out a lot funnier then I thought and I had a fun time writing this. I will probably make one more chapter and I'm done but this was pretty hilarious right? Review if u think so:p<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys…this is the last chapter. I had a fun time writing this and hope you enjoy this two-shot? Is that what they call it? Yeah…so please do review Enjoy!**

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><p>Tobi was able to come back on his own and was walking in the hall, heading to his room, mumbling to himself.<p>

"I wonder why senpai could be so upset. What did I do to make him so mad at me? I just want to help him take off his ring. I know how, but he won't let me!" He said as he was sulking.

Then he saw said senpai running right at him!

"No! Senpai I didn't do anything this time" He said as he gave up in defeat and got ready to defend himself by just standing there, crossing his arms in front of his face.

"Move it Tobi"

Deidara said as he flew right passed him, went into his room, slammed the door, and locked it.

"Huhh?…what the….Ohh its you Konan-chan!" Tobi said…and he saw Konan running towards him too!

"Konan-chan! Slow down! Why is everyone in such a rush for?" Tobi put Konan to a halt in front of him as she stood there and she looked mighty pissed off.

Tobi got scared and shivered. "Aww…well..I-I uhh you look like you were going to kill Deidara and you're his team mate so…" And at that moment, one of rooms where they were standing at had opened.

"What is all this commotion out here?" Kisame said as he came out of his room.

_Who dares to disrupt my time at ease?'_

"Kisame-senpai!"

"Tobi, move out of the way now!," Konan was _super_ angry. "Deidara give it back now!" as she yelled at the closed door to Deidara's room.

"Whoa, who could possibly get the ever calm and composed Konan _shaken up_?" Kisame watched her with his inquisitive small eyes.

"Deidara! Dam it! He called me ugly!" Konan was about to go in there and break down his door.

"He did what? That's it." Konan stood there as she saw Kisame quickly go back into his room and come right back out.

"_Somebody's_ going to lose _a little _more than just their hair today." Kisame chuckled as he held his Samehada in front of him and slashed Deidara's door so that there was no door anymore.

"Jeez, Kisame. Did you really have to use Samehada? Anyone one of us could've broken down his door." Konan muttered to him.

"Well, he did insult the lady." Kisame replied.

But as they went inside his room, no one was in there and his window was left wide open.

"Dam you Deidara!" Konan lit up her frustration by attempting to use her paper ninjutsu to fly away and catch him but Tobi stopped her in time.

"No wait Konan-chan, you have to let him go! He's trying to take his ring off!" Tobi pleaded to safe Deidara's life.

"What? He's planning on betraying Akatsuki?" Kisame asked.

"No! No! His ring is just stuck and he really wants it off for some reason." Tobi didn't know why Deidara was so desperate in having it removed but knowing Deidara, his ego gets to him and he doesn't want to ask for help.

"Well…" Kisame looked at the hand with his ring on it, also a bit peculiar. "Can we take it off?"

"Of coarse you can, its like any other ring." Konan answered him. "Hnn, seriously? That's why he grabbed my lotion."

Kisame was still curious about it, staring at his ring. Since he never took it off before, he removed the ring from his left ring finger, _very easily_. Konan and Tobi watched it happen.

"Uhh, this so stupid. Everyone knows how to take off a ring." Konan smirked.

"Yeah, but senpai's ring is stuck." Tobi countered.

"Yes, _especially_ when its stuck." Konan said back.

Kisame and Tobi thought about it…..and when they both figured it out, together they said..

"Ohh…"

~Back to Deidara~

Deidara was currently flying over his home village trying to figure out where the hell to land. He ended up settling for a public restroom near an open park, but also tried to keep a low profile. He hid his bird sculpture behind a huge rock and quickly went into the guys bathroom. Some random citizen was there, finishing up washing his hands and took a glance at Deidara.

"What the?…this is the guys place, miss." He told him.

Deidara gave the guy a pissed off look. "Do I look like a woman to you?" He demanded.

The guy overlooked him, which didn't really look right because it was as if he was checking him out. But the guy slowly started to recognize who he was.

The guy gave gasp. "Huh, you're…you're the Deidara! the terrorist who betrayed our village andstole all those forbidden jutsus and..."

The guy started to panic and backed away but this only gave Deidara an assuring smirk. "Yes, I am _the _Deidara. And if you don't want me to blow this whole place up…" Deidara took his hand and showed the guy the mouth on his hand. The guy continue to fear.

"What…what is that?"

"Get out now!" And that just scared the guy out the bathroom and probably halfway across the village.

_Maybe that wasn't such a good idea since I am a missing-nin…..oh well'_

And Deidara took out the hand lotion he _stole_ from Konan and spread it across his finger that had the ring on it. He smirked and thought _this _**_has_**_ to work._

He took his other hand so he could wrap it around the finger and pull the thing off. And….it wasn't budging at all. _What? C'mon! _He continued to try to pull it off and no effort could help it.

"Dam it! I hate this stupid ring! I just had to join Akatsuki and their dam attempts to _bind_ me to them.." He yelled, not caring about the people outside and his deflected status.

Then something mysterious happened that made it appear _darker_ than before. _What the?.. _And Deidara saw a human figure forming in the darkness and it looked like birds were forming too.

"What the?…Itachi?" As he appeared in plain sight but it might have been one of his clones.

"Itachi, what do you want? How did you know I was here!" He glared at Itachi while hiding his hand beneath cloak. Itachi just stood there and gave him that usual Uchiha glare back at him.

"Hey, didn't your birthday pass a couple days ago?"

"Yeah..?" Itachi responded as in _so what?_

"So go celebrate your birthday somewhere else!"

But Itachi didn't say anything.

"Itachi! Dam it, don't give me your red eye mind tricks!" He then smirked and pushed his bangs back and pointed to his scope. "I've got this newly improved."

Itachi still looked impassive.

"Dam it, what the hell do you want!" Deidara angered at him.

"Konan wants her lotion back." He finally said and looked at him with the same expression.

"Well, too bad! I'm using it right now. Tell her I'll give it back to her later." He did _not_ feel like telling him why he needed lotion in the first place.

"And I'm also suppose to help you remove your ring, though I don't know why you would want to do that" Itachi added.

_What? How does he know? Oh…well it is **Itachi**, dam it!'_

"Well, back off! I don't need your help!" Deidara did not want to receive help from _Itachi_ of all people.

"Look. Just calm down and let me.."

"NO! I WANT TO TAKE IT OFF BY MYSELF!" He yelled at him in frustration.

Itachi tried to hush him and tell him to shut up but it was only making it worse. So he quickly grabbed his hand that still had the lotion on it before Deidara could react and shoved it under the sink.

"What the? What are you doing! Let go!" As he tried to get his hand off.

Itachi turned on the faucet and the water quickly removed the lotion from his hands. Then he pressed the soap button and applied soap to his hands, specifically that finger.

Deidara still tried to remove his hand from his, but then Itachi used his other hand and removed it _very _easily. Deidara was stunned.

"Ahh…what? You got my ring off! YOU TOOK IT OFF!"

At that moment someone that was a _little too_ nosy came inside the bathroom. It was a preteen girl and she just stood there and stared at what she just saw. She squealed and put her hand on her forehead and fainted right in front of them

"What?" Deidara was confused and then he noticed that they were still holding hands!

Itachi noticed this too and quickly shoved Deidara's hand away. Then he disappeared into the darkness again.

Apparently, she wasn't the only one curious. Now a bunch of preteen fan girls came into what she just saw and squealed as they saw Deidara.

_What are these crazy fan girls doing here? Huh…are they for me? Well, I thought Itachi was the only one to have but I didn't even know I had fan girls. Hehe…wait…what the hell!'_

"Deidara-kun, you're back!" they said as they continue to squeal.

"No…you girls can back off before I blow this place into oblivion!" He shouted at them.

The fan girls went screaming all over the place as he said that and Deidara didn't know if that was because they were squealing or because they knew that he was going to blow this place up but one things for sure, _he had really clean hands._

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><p><strong>YAY! I finished it! Hehe…that was funny right? LOL I spent the entire class period trying to take off the ring using lotion and I didn't find out until afterwards that all I needed was soap the whole time! But yeah…I hope you enjoyed this because I sure did :p<strong>

**Thanks for reading and Please do review:)**


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